Single and Locked Down
Right now I just got off a call with my family who are very worried about me. I completely understand the fear, its genuine. Because I have in the past struggled with my mental health. Now they are worried that if they are not there to supervise me I would not be okay.
A little background…
I just recently moved into my first apartment on my own in Lagos. I am turning 33 next month. I suffered from depression for circa 2 years following a horrible breakup with my ex-fiance. I found the strength to complete my MBA through these 2 years. I have had a panic attack in the past. I am single. I run a startup Fintech with two friends from business school and the pressure ebbs and flows. COVID-19 is ravaging the world. And in Nigeria, there are serious safety concerns because “a hungry man is an angry man”. This is going to be my fourth week in self-isolation. They just announced another two weeks.
So if I understand 100% why they are so worried. TBH, I am not worried about the pandemic. I am keeping busy with work and I admit that it can be tough on the weekends. But I really want this isolation. I want to learn about me. What I want, like and dislike. work on my areas for improvement. Scroll mindlessly on the internet. Cry. Pray. Mediate. Enjoy my solitude.
I feel strongly about this because I have been absent from my life for some time, I have even forgotten some memories. I am starting again. From experience. And at the end of my life, I want to own it all; my successes, my shortcomings, my everything. You know! Be really present.
I am being purposeful about my life and I will not relent. I need this time because its just a season and I want to able to remember it for me.