I woke up on my birthday morning feeling lots of emotions and types of ways – Happy, Grateful, Reborn, Blessed.

This year for Jesus was the peak of his career.

I also could help feeling whole… it dawned on me that when I initially entered my 30s, I was like a seed – dead but live with potential.

I can’t lie, all I saw was dead.

I saw failure and disappointment in the kind of way that I thought it was going to be a permanent feature. The epitome of my essence. Smack in the middle of my forehead for everyone stranger to know.

What I didn’t see what it becoming a thing of beauty, inspiration and strength. Like the Japanese art of Kintsugi – making a blemish the centre of attention by enhancing the beauty with gold adhesive.

TBH, this has been on mind for a long time, how to identify the category of women out there, who are going the same ‘teething’ pains I experienced. I am so sure this is something I need to do but I’m so scared. Scared about being vulnerable with people I’m not sure about. Scared about rejection (again). Scared of leaving my safety.

Skipping the growing pains straight to my second Ted talk.

Where do I start the conversation from???

I have a lot of strength for the year ahead.

And now, I realise everything that has happened was for a grand purpose, for Jesus to be glorified.